Sunday, December 29, 2013

A Tale of Two Genders

Tonight while getting ready for bed I started my normal routine. At some point before bed I always go to the bathroom. Sorry for being so crude but here we go. As I sat to pee I happened to look over at the toilet paper roll. The last person who used that bathroom (my husband) had left exactly one square. One. When I pointed this out to him he said there was a fresh roll on the back of the toilet in the pack. This is not a new situation, but I think it sums thing up well. He used what he needed and then decided that the roll was not technically empty. Technically. Ugh! 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

A Tale of A Christmas Wish

It's nearing the end of Christmas Day 2013. My children are in bed an my husband is sitting comfortably on the sofa watching Dr. Who. All is right in our little world. At least it is at the moment.

Turn back the clock 48 hours and you would find a very different picture. 

At 3:30 am on Monday morning I woke with the kind of pain that in any movie is only caused by alien parasites or demon possession. That doubling over, gripping your fists, wake you up like a boot to the gut pain. Hopefully I have made my situation clear. Turns out I had a bit of that nasty old stomach flu that Has been "Going Around". Off to the bathroom went I to do what needed to de done to calm the beast. Just when I returned to my bed, cold, sweating, shivering, I heard a commotion down the hall in my kids room. Rather than have them wake their dad I went to find out what was happening. I came upon the two headed to the bathroom. The 4yo needed to throw up and as reported by the 6yo had possibly already done so in the bed. I felt like the exact opposite of someone who had just won a mega-lottery. 

Anyway, off I went to take care of the kids and investigate the incident in the bed. Sure enough, the bed needed cleaning and both kids were wide awake. I set them up in the family room, removed the soiled bedding, and then went back into the bathroom to be sick several more times. 

My favorite moment or possibly just the most notable was later in the morning. Just after I experienced a rather violent wave of diarrhea, I attempted to leave the bathroom only to be hit by an epic wave of nausea that I attempted to control with the classic hand over mouth move. Unfortunately, the pressure behind the hand was more than it could contain and the contents of my stomach found another route, pushing it's way out my nose. That's not the best bit though. There's more! After the job of cleaning up that mess was complete. Left shaking, and I'm sorry to admit, crying, I turned for my smartphone which was on the counter next to the porcelain god to which I had been praying. I reached for it with my shaking right hand and that damn phone leapt from my hand and took a dive into the toilet! As if it had a will of it's own. I swear it! 

The next moment happened in slow motion and went like this- 
I yelled "NO!" 
Reached into the dread toilet of sick (recall I had just cleaned the bathroom and flushed several times, but still YUCK!), removed the device, and hearing my sisters words in my ear I quickly turned off the device and attempted to dry it as best I could. 
Then I performed the only sort CPR I was capable of. I entombed my dear phone, my lifeline, in a ziplock bag filled with large white rice. Fingers crossed drying and not dying.  
So here is my Christmas wish. That my smartphone live through the trauma as the 4yo and I myself have somehow done. That the technology gods smile upon me this Christmas and allow the phone to survive to see 2014. Please.....

Thursday, December 12, 2013

A Tale of A Yeti Sandwich

I love the 1964 Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer movie! The moved played each year as I was growing up. It's one of my favorites from the holiday seasons of my childhood. 

After the last post about not painting sandwiches I realized that the 4yo had an extended day and needed a lunch. I love elves and we have already watched the movie several times this season. The 4yo love Yeti's so I decided to paint her sandwich with a picture of Bumble and ta-da! Here it is. 

Nutella sandwich painted with food coloring, on the side we have apples and a mix of Goldfish with M&M's. 
 I also made my own food pick using clipart and a toothpick. Super simple and it brings Hermey and Rudolph to the party.
Bumble the yeti
While searching for the movie on youtube I also found this 2004 interview with the man who wrote the book on the production company that produced these movies. It's interesting and now I am tempted to go find his books.

There is nothing better than good animation or a good sandwich. <3

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Tales of A Poem About Death

I found this a few weeks ago when I was looking for Dia de los Muertos inspiration.

Someday I'll be a weather-beaten skull resting on a grass pillow,
Serenaded by a stray bird or two.
Kings and commoners end up the same,
No more enduring than last night's dream.

I love the way the author understands the way death is a part of the natural order and does not romanticize the afterlife as an otherworld full of happy people hanging out in a white and gold cloud world. Those images always kind of depress me. The idea that afar it all, I will have a chance to feed the earth and maybe if I am luck a plant or tree, well that sounds like heaven to me!

The 6yo and 4yo on our way to a Dia de los Muertos festival 2013

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Tale of A Bento Evolution

If you know me, or if you have visited any of my older posts you know that I spent the 2012-13 school year making themed lunches for my kids. It really was a lot of fun, it started conversations with people at my daughters new school and I know the girls enjoyed it as well. I mean, I know these are not the best bento's in the world. I know that they pale compared to the art of many more authentic bentos mom's are making every day out of noodles, tiny eggs and vegetables. However I enjoyed making them for my kids and it became a bit of a hobby for me.
Here is an example of a lunch based on one of our favorite books. 

Bento from 2012-13 school year. Hungry Hungry Caterpillar .
This will come as no shock to anyone, these lunches took a chunk of time. Not that my kids aren't worth it, but sometimes I want to sleep in until 5:30. Boo, hoo, hoo. I know. 
Soot balls, flowers and leaves for both my girls. 

In April the still 5yo came in contact with a PB sandwich made with a Hawaiian Roll and fell in love. This simple sandwich was thrown together using a roll left over from a family dinner and our normal pb&honey mixture I keep in the pantry. She loved it. Imagine my luck! Over six months later the Hawaiian Roll sandwiches are all she wants. 

So now the lunches look more like this-
PB&H on Hawaiian Rolls. Apple slices, pretzels, string cheese and a Yukult drink. 
It just doesn't have that same Shazam! but she is happy and I have a bit more time. It is just my kids lunch after all. Right? 

Thursday, December 5, 2013

I Nearly Died! (laughing)

A few nights ago my husband went to LA to see a band play. According to the flyer for the event the band was going on at 8:45pm. 

Quick background, this man gets up EARLY. Normally he is up at 4:30 latest 5am and then out of the office by 5:15. 

I had a very foggy memory of him coming in around 1am I think, sort of, maybe. I did remember his alarm going off at 4:30 for sure.

Like every weekday my alarm went off at 5:30. I lay there for a moment and looked around. For the life of me I had no recollection of him getting up and going to work but clearly, he was gone. The clock said 5:30, I used my phone flashlight and saw that the bathroom door stood open, the room was empty, and the light was off. I got up and went out into the family room. Dark. He normally leaves that light on when he leaves. So I went into the kitchen. The light was on just as I had left it the night before. All of a sudden I was worried. Had he come home? Had I only dreamt it? What if something really bad had happened and there I was the jack-hole who slept through this tragic event totally unaware?

After a moment I shook myself out of it, made a cup of coffee, and went back to my bathroom to shower. 
As I turned on the light in the bathroom a voice behind me said "What did you say?" my heart stopped and then managed to lodge itself in my throat.
I turned around. 
There he was, asleep on his side of the bed! I guess I forgot to look there. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I Nearly Fell Over!

Yesterday afternoon I was walking with my 4yo daughter when a white cat ran across our path.
F, the 4yo said to me "Mommy, I want a white cat" at which time I gave there the regular answer about family with allergies.
She then told me she would be happy with that cat.
So I explained the cat we had just seen was likely ferrel.

Her response? "My daddy eats ferrel cats."
As if it was the most normal thing in the world.
There is no appropriate response to that.